A head full of hummingbirds
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Wait I realized this Twitter rate limiting thing happened literally the same day as the Reddit 3rd party app shut downs. Wonder how many of those users have come here today to this Luigi Wins By Doing Nothing Ass website
#delighted by tumblr’s model for how not to fail#simply maintain course and wait for the rest of the internet to burn down around it#the venture capitalists can’t see us if we don’t move (x)
(via shinebrightlikeamaryam)
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new gender idea: guy who is super masculine and uses he/him pronouns, but every time someone acknowledges his gender or asks about it he switches to feminine presentation and she/her pronouns and refuses to acknowledge the change
sorry. *girl who is super feminine and uses she/her but everytime someone asks she switches to masc and he/him and refuses to acknowledge the change
sorry. *guy who is su-
hey. stop being funnier than me
(via blaiseit)
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Quick reminder that July is disability pride month. Not “gay wrath month”.
When ableism is a massive issue in the queer community and most pride events aren’t accessible maybe y’all should. Idk. Try a bit fucking harder to educate urselves this July.
(via lumberjackloverboy)
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Yeah we should do this for action scenes too. Have Aragorn draw his sword and fade to black and the fellowship have killed all the Uruk Hai.
This is the weird wave of purity culture that I mentioned a day or two ago. If you really are *an adult* then you can decide whether or not to watch films and tv shows with sex scenes.
Exactly! You could say this about literally anything! Why bother with movies at all? Just sit in a dark room and vividly imagine an epic story of good vs evil or something. We don’t need to see scenes.
sorry but i love sex scenes. i love seeing the characters connect, i love seeing how the cinematography is handled, i love hearing what music they pick, i love seeing how the actors interact. and tbh i’m kinda tired of sexuality and erotica being banished to the shadows of society lest poor innocent bystanders be assaulted by the very mention of fucking. sorry but sex is part of the human experience for a lot of people, and it is absolutely purity culture to demand that it be sanitized from daily life bc some ppl find it icky.
(via blaiseit)
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wish i had a bit going where whenever i said “the prophecy” like three of my friends would repeat “the prophecy” in different tones while squinting into the distance and rubbing their chins like sages deep in thought. i would also do this for them, im a team player
okay, so, be me, 27 years old at the time, an adult by any definition in the world
be me at the los angeles zoo, one of my very favorite places in the world, because i love animals. i am immedietly 8 years old when presented with a little creature. i can’t help it.
okay, wait, go back. we must establish two things for this to hit right
first:
the year before, i’d gone to the san diego zoo with my aunt and grandma and! they let you feed giraffes there!!
how wonderful a world and how wonderful a life, where for $10 I can hand feed a giant creature three crispy biscuits. i go “i am feeding the giraffes right now” and go in line to buy the biscuits and return moments later triumphant, 3 biscuits in my grasp
“oh good!” my grandmother says, “one for each of us!”
“yes,” i say, despondent, “one for each of us.”
i wanted to feed all three to the giraffes myself but since i am an actual adult and not a child i do not say this and share the biscuits
second:
my friend group echoes. a lot
someone tells a story and ends it with “and that’s what happened!” and the rest of us will repeat “and that’s what happened!”
often in unison. and it’s constant, all the time, even to little stuff. often said in the tone of “they don’t even have dental”
ok, so we’re back at the los angeles zoo. they have opened the giraffe feeding
i am not going to be thwarted again
my two friends (K and M) get in line to feed them and i go to buy the biscuits. i return with nine biscuits because i am going to give the giraffes three biscuits myself and i do not want to hear a word of protest. i am being fair. i am being equitable. i am sharing. no one can judge me
“wow!” says K. “that’s a lot of biscuits!”
“the cult provides,” i say generously, handing over their share, because what is a friend group if not a small cult
and then, automatically, in unison, like they have so many times before and thinking nothing of what exactly they’re saying, M and K reply, “the cult provides”
two different people in line turn to stare at us while we all blink at each other and then M nervously shouts, “we are definitely not in a cult!” which sounds like something someone who is in a cult might say
and ever since it’s been a running bit where one person says “the cult ____” and everyone echoes it as seriously as possible, no matter where we are or who we’re around
which is to say, OP, that you could be living the dream if your friends weren’t cowards
(via blaiseit)
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Years ago I overheard (eavesdropped upon) a telephone conversation between a public parks official and a golf course owner.
Parks Official: No sir, you cannot
Parks Official: No. They are a protected species
Parks Official: You CANNOT shoot them
Parks Official: Or poison them, no. Or trap them
Parks Official: If you like, we can– no, I’m it. I’m the ranking official here. There’s nobody above me. My boss? You mean… the governor’s office? Sure, I guess. Okay bye
After he hung up, he gave me this thousand-yard stare before answering my unvoiced question.
“There’s a flock of flamingos at the 9th green disrupting golfers. He wanted permission to go out there with a shotgun and take care of matters, but sensed there might be… legal ramifications. So he called us.”
I laughed. “Does that happen often?”
“Oh, we get calls like that a couple times a month.”
Country clubs should be burned to the ground and their golf courses turned into community gardens i am 10000% serious
Was golf created for the sole purpose of hoarding ridiculously large amounts of land just to brag about how little they use it?
Yes, literally.
(via blaiseit)
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Part of the Nature, Crisis, Consequence exhibit at the New-York Historical Society Museum and Library. It’s on until July 16th of 2023!
(via blaiseit)
